Being present for each other is love enough
A feature story with Rebecca Sit, mother of Damien who overcame childhood cancer at 4 years old.
Interviewed by Faz Gaffa | Photography by The Love Studios at Beginnings
The Love Studios first met Rebecca Sit through a photoshoot back in 2019. We learned then that her son Damien, at just 2 years old, was battling cancer. The family's story of courage inspired everyone on shoot that day and it sat with us through the years. Today, Rebecca shared some miraculous news, with a big smile on her face, that 2021 is Damien's first year in remission. Bravely documenting the family's journey, Rebecca aims to continue raising awareness on childhood cancer as well as to encourage all families to never give up.
1. Being The Love Studios, our first question has to be — what does love mean to you?
Love to me, means more than gifts or fancy dinner dates. It’s knowing that when things are beyond our human ability or when we can’t find the right thing to say, being present for each other is love enough.
2. What's your love language?
Words of affirmation is my love language. I value verbal acknowledgments of affection, "I love you's," and words of appreciation and encouragement. I enjoy inspirational quotes, love notes and cards. Text messages to ask how I’m doing definitely makes my day.
3. What kind of love expressions do you enjoy the most?
I enjoy words of appreciation and affirmation the most.
4. Your childhood cancer awareness cause is something very personal to you. If you could offer advice to yourself the first time you found out the diagnosis, what would they be?
Just be present with your child. You can’t change the diagnosis, you can’t take away his pain. But you can show him love by being his protector, his advocate and that soft place to fall on when it gets too difficult.
5. How do you hold space, and love for yourself in times of high stress, when you're taking care of your son?
I allowed myself to be brave and vulnerable at the same time. There were many times I just let my tears flow. After a good cry, I always feel better and ready to take the journey on again. Prior to Damien’s diagnosis, I wasn’t active on social media. But during this time, social media became my creative outlet. I started regular updates of our childhood cancer journey and sharing how Damien was doing on social media. I found that through sharing with others helped me to process what I was going through. I also found sources to inspire myself, whether it was through quotes or songs.
6. Anybody who's read your story knows how much strength you carry — but from you navigating through Damien's childhood cancer, are there surprising things or traits you've uncovered about yourself?
I used to be a competitive ballroom dancer, so I was always training and dancing. I loved being out and about, exploring latest and newest places. Damien’s childhood cancer journey made me stay home more than I could ever imagine. And the fact that I cruised through it surprised me. I channelled my energy to finding interesting things to do with Damien, and creating experiences and celebrations for him at home. Now, I love being home more than being outside!
7. How have you and your husband shown each other love through times of high stress?
Childhood cancer changed our view of love. We had to be creative in showing our love for each other given that we hardly had couple time and hardly went out. During the 6 months of Damien’s intensive chemotherapy, the hospital was my second home. There were times I was only home for a week out of an entire month. During those stays, Andre would bring me desserts or cakes that I like, give me neck massages and made effort to organise mini celebrations in the hospital room for Valentine’s Day and on our wedding anniversary.
I cook every day, from the day Damien was diagnosed till now. Homecooked meals was my way of showing love to Andre. There were times when he craved for something, and I would look for receipes and made them for him. I remember once he craved for black fried carrot cake. It was hard work making it, and it didn’t turn out as well as it should, but Andre appreciated it, and he ate a good lot of it!
“Love to me, means more than gifts or fancy dinner dates. It’s knowing that when things are beyond our human ability or when we can’t find the right thing to say, being present for each other is love enough. ”
8. How and where do you see yourself growing in the near future?
In the last 3 years, I have been personally advocating for childhood cancer awareness and helping out in local childhood cancer communities. I see myself continuing to do so (together with Damien), whether it’s volunteering, sharing experiences, or being a caregiver buddy to other families. It will be my way of showing love to other families, and for Damien to bring hope to other children.
